The Book of February 14

Behold it is written in the book of February chapter 14:

verse 1 “And it shall come to pass that on val’s day,excuses shall arise again, ; my battery died, my credit got finished, my DP refused to change, my pastor selected me for the trip, am coordinating 1st,2nd,3rd and 4th service , traffic jams etc… When thou seeth this signs, be calm, fear thou not, keep thy peace and know that verily verily..thou art not thy boo’s boo ,but anoda’s

Verse 2 Even when you receive gifts, calls, or were taken out, Remember my dear daughter that all will
end on the bed

Verse 3: Behold babe, i stand @d door of ur hostel nd knock, if u hear my voice nd open d door, i will
come in nd eat wit u, dine wit u nd share d gifts i av
4 u.

Verse 4: Blessed is the boy that bothers
not himself 4 any girl 4 peace i
will grant to him.

Verse 5: Hear ye hear ye For girls so love February 14 that they gave their only begotten dignity in exchange for a date ,but know ye that who so ever doesn’t make that mistake shall not have the fear of 9 month assignment.

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Holy Toasting…!

Boy: do you have a boyfriend?
Girl: No. I don’t want a boyfriend.
Boy: Genesis 2:18 “The Lord God said, ‘It is not
good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper
suitable for him’.”
Girl: But I don’t love you.
Boy: 1 John 4:8 “Whoever does not love, does not
know God, because God is love.”
Girl: So how do I discern that your words are true?
Boy: Matthew 12:34b “For the mouth speaks what
the heart is full of.”
Girl: But how can I be sure that you are faithful and
honest?
Boy: Mark 13:31 “Heaven and earth will pass away,
but my words will never pass away.”
Girl: But why me? There are so many girls out
there.
Boy: Proverbs 31:29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all!”
Girl: But what do you see in me, that makes you
love me?
Boy: Song of Songs 4:7 ” You are altogether
beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.”
Girl: But really, I’m not that beautiful … you’re
exaggerating.
Boy: Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceptive, and
beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord
is to be praised.”
Girl: What will happen if I say yes?
Boy: Genesis 2:24 “That is why a man leaves his
father and mother and is united to his wife, and they
become one flesh.”
Girl: How is it that you know so many Scriptures?
Boy: Joshua 1:8 “Keep this Book of the Law always
on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that
you may be careful to do everything written in it.
Then you will be prosperous and successful. ”
Girl: Wooow, I can see you really love God.
Boy: Psalm 34:8 “Taste and see that the Lord is
good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him!”
Girl: Hmmm. Ok please just give me some time to
think about this.
Boy: Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers and sisters,
whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is
right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,
whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or
praiseworthy—think about such things.”
Girl: owwww I love you already
Boy: Revelations 22:21b “Amen.”

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7 Ways of Breaking up with your Lover this December, LOL.

1.16 Missed Calls? You Killed My Battery so
you’re Capable of Killing Me… It’s Over!!!
_
2.You don’t even respect me. I’m talking
and you are busy breathing? It’s over!
_
3.I called you and you picked up
immediately. You lack patience. It’s over!!
_
4. I told u I love my food hot but you
refused to warm the ice cream. You don’t
care about me. It’s over!
_
5.I gave u 2 eggs, to boil one and fry the
other. You fried the one you were supposed
to boil and boiled the one you were
supposed to fry. You are not obedient, It’s
over!
_
6. I messaged you at 11:59pm and you
replied me at 12:00am. why did you reply
me the next day?… its over!!!!
_
7.I call u DARLING and you called me
HONEY. Indirectly, you’re calling my mother a BEE. No respect for
in- laws, pack your
bags. its over!

Say No to Drugs, LOL!

My guy got so high on weed, that he was
searching for his phone with the torchlight
of the same phone he was looking for. He
got so worried about the phone and was
almost in tears even his roommate, who
was also high, decided to join him in the
search.
After 45 minutes of searching, his phone
rang, he picked the call and quickly replied
the caller “I’ll call you back, I’m looking for
my phone ” and he angrily ended the call
and continued in the search for the phone
he just answered a call with.
After a while, he then decided to use the
same phone to call his line and when he got
the busy tone, he turned to his roommate
and said “guy, forget, that phone don loss,
the person wey thief am, just dey busy am
as I call am now”.
Say NO to drugs!!!